How to discover your core values

Have you any idea what your core values might be?  

No, I don’t mean that you think it’s important to give to charity. Values don’t actually have any moral dimension. Each individual value is neither good nor bad.  

What I mean by ‘values’ are the non-tangible things that you absolutely must have in your life to feel happy and fulfilled. Like Self expression, or Beauty or Achievement.  

Discovering these, and their order of importance, is one of the most useful pieces of self- development work you will ever do. Once you know them, you really have a blueprint for how to live the rest of your life.   You’ll know what big decisions to make.

You’ll know why you’re feeling particularly upbeat or down. You’ll know what small action you could take to feel happier and more fulfilled in any given moment.   

This is because every action you take either honours or dishonours your core values. Every action you take either honours of dishonours - YOU.  

Discovering your core values is a vital part of the work that I do with my coaching clients. You can have a go yourself:  

A good way to start is to think of a time when you felt absolutely great, on top of the world, really, really happy and fulfilled. What do you think it was about yourself that you were honouring?   Perhaps it was your value of Human Connection, or Adventure or Contribution.  

The converse is also true. Think of a time when you felt low or depressed or miserable. It was one of your values that you were dishonouring. Which one?  

When I was training, I had a great coach myself, Francine Kaye, now a top relationship coach www.thedivorcedoctor.co.uk. She said this to me. I tell all my clients and I’d like to share with you.

 “It is never the, person, situation or circumstance that upsets or frustrates me. It is always a value of mine that is being dishonoured or violated.”  

Wow! Talk about having to take responsibility for your own life.            

Comments

[Butterfly]

I need to do this, discover what makes me happy, thank you for your lovely post and inspiration voice.

[Katie]

Hi Butterfly

Thanks for your comment. I'm so glad that you found the blog post inspiring. What do you think your core values might be?